I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I’d swear I’ve never met herbivore.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I know a guy who’s addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop anytime.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A will is a dead giveaway.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Police were summoned to a day care center\u00a0\u00a0where a three year old was resisting a rest.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He’s all right now.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she’d dye.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Acupuncture is a jab well done . That’s the point of it.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When chemists die, they barium.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.\u00a0 England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.\u00a0 Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.\u00a0 This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I’d swear I’ve never met herbivore.\u00a0 I know a guy who’s addicted to drinking brake […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3227,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[12,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2801","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-life","category-randomness","clearfix","post-index"],"acf":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/corbinrose.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/pexels-tim-mossholder-1115680-scaled-2.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/corbinrose.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2801","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/corbinrose.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/corbinrose.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/corbinrose.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/corbinrose.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2801"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/corbinrose.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2801\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/corbinrose.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3227"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/corbinrose.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2801"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/corbinrose.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2801"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/corbinrose.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2801"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}